Last night I went to an event in the city, so I had some time alone in the car. As I was driving and thinking about the day we just had, I realized I had two moments with Cate that were so sweet and wonderful, but at the time I didn't quite savor how great they were.
I had to get dressed up for the thing I went to last night. Cate was in my room lying on my bed watching me get ready. When I was all set, I asked her how I looked. She said beautiful (which was sweet) then she popped out of the bed and exclaimed, "You need to wear high heels!" She ran to the door where my shoe organizer hangs and started looking at the shoes. I was in a rush and was nice and everything, but sort of just said, "Yes, exactly! Good idea! My high heel shoes are actually up here." I got down the basket with the shoes, knowing which ones I was going to wear. Cate, however, wanted to see what they all looked like and pick some out. Again, I was like, "Here are the ones I am going to wear, look good?" And she said yes and was totally happy.
BUT.
I wish I had slowed down for a moment. It was so cute how she jumped up to find shoes. How she wanted to help me pick them out. No matter how rushed I feel, I need to notice those moments and soak them up, really take part in what's happening. The way things did go down was fine and still a sweet memory, but I just wish I would have seen it more for what it was. Next time...
Anna was really grumpy yesterday for some reason. Quite the pill, actually. At one point in the car, for instance, when she had been quiet for some time, she suddenly made this loud, frustrated, angry-ish noise, just totally out of the blue. And that is just a small example of how she was all day. ANYWAY...I said something later about how Anna was being so grumpy and Cate said, "Maybe she had a bad day. Maybe something happened at school or something." I replied with, "She had a great day, she got to go to lunch, she got new shoes, everything seemed fine after school. I just don't get why she's so grumpy."
Well, like I said, later in the car I was pondering all these things. And, again, I wish I had listened to Cate more closely. All day long when Anna was acting out, I just kept telling Anna why it was such a great day and why she shouldn't be so mad about everything. Cate, however, was thinking about why Anna might be feeling that way, reflecting on what the cause might be, trying to be understanding. She didn't tell Anna why she should not feel that way, she instead just accepted the grumpiness and showed compassion. I wish that I could have stopped when Cate said that, realized that, no matter the reason, Anna WAS having a bad day, even if I didn't understand it or think she should be having a bad day. I should have listened to Cate and just stopped to give Anna a hug and simply recognize she wasn't feeling that happy.
Cate's pre-K teacher told us in a parent teacher conference once that Cate had an unusual level of empathy for a child her age. I think that is the perfect description of our little Cate and this experience with Anna is just another beautiful example.
I just love that Cate. She is great.
